Azedia

The notes from the Grey Book were given to me on June 25th, 2003. Although some things have changed the original lines are largely intact. The collection is meant to guide and inspire. Today, I pass it on to you.

1. Be Sober
2. The future has hope, too. This is purposeful. Remember it, even when you can’t see past the pain.
3. Overindulgence in anything- food, alcohol, etc.- is a symptom. Strike at the root.
4. Think outside the box. Question: In what way is my thinking limited right now?
5. Don’t go with the flow, especially now. Forge a path!
6. Work out the details of our separation, all of ‘em, while we’re together.
7. Get organized. Cluttered environment -> cluttered mind.
8. Don’t float. Attack this systematically. Strategize a better future.
9. Reinvent yourself as often as you choose. Start today.
10. Pray honest prayers. Don’t overstate. Don’t understate. Admit ignorance. Ask for grace.
11. Take it one step at a time. Today’s decisions today, tomorrow’s decisions tomorrow.
12. Once in awhile, stop and re-state the facts.
13. Have no regrets. Not from here forward, at least.
14. Doing is being. Live synchronously.
15. Ask answerable questions.
16. No addictions.
17. Crystallize your essence as often as possible, preferably daily.
18. Don’t try to please everyone.
19. Spend some time in the woods and/or desert at regular intervals.
20. Where you decide to live is almost as important as what you decide to do.
21. Never, ever be without good reading material on your person or in your satchel.
22. Few other things are as therapeutic as building a campfire and then sitting next to it for a good, long while.
23. Walk.
24. Take it easy on yourself. Forgive and move on.
25. Remember the fights. It’s why you’re doing what you’re doing.
26. Stay practical.
27. Follow through. Don’t leave anything undone. Don’t stop short of doing what you know you have to do. Begin once, and finish the thing.
28. Say what you mean. Not what you think they want to hear.
29. Questions don’t demand answers. Silence is an answer.
30. When unsettled, confused, cranky… keep quiet.
31. Eat right and get enough sleep. Easy on the coffee.
32. Embrace the pain, don’t try and stave it off. This tragedy deserves it.
33. You can’t plan everything. Let the future take its form.
34. Do not ever forget the brighter days. Carry the memory of them forward.
35. Strive for excellence-execute pure greatness with exacting precision.
36. Lower your expectations of everybody. Cut the rope when you have to. Save yourself some pain. People will let you down.
37. Knowledge is power.
38. Fear and pain aren’t enough to keep you from moving in the desired direction.
39. Life will be different.
40. Get out of debt and stay there. This keeps more options open.
41. Don’t make any decisions too early. One at a time
42. You can still do something practical when you’re confused. Channel the weirdness.
43. You need your family. Let them help you. Take what they offer.
44. Who you love is determined by how you see yourself.
45. Love is not attachment. Know the difference.
46. God gave you a brain for a reason. Use it. Make your decisions and move.
47. Stay alive. Fire your brain up every day. Dying inside cannot be part of the solution.
48. Be honest, especially with yourself.
49. Facts over emotions.
50. Involve a 3rd party whenever you need to.
51. Know your reasons.
52. Stick to the plan.
53. TV steals time.
54. What is more basic than the condition of your body? Take care of it.
55. Don’t burn your bridges.
56. Don’t avoid what you’re afraid or nervous about.
57. If you really want to know how love works, ask a Buddhist.
58. Doing stems from being. To discover what to do, find out who you are.
59. Drink a blueberry milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry on top whenever you need to be reminded that there are still pure, simple, good things in the world.
60. Don’t force a conversation with a cagey person. Pull out when things begin to get crazy.
61. Don’t talk too much, even when there’s a lot to say. You’ll tend to fill awkward silences with things you may not mean.
62. Know whom you trust. Trust them.
63. Visualize the new life as often as possible. See it, move in that direction.
64. Listen and learn…and do. (Starts with taking time to think.)
65. Record the facts, especially someone’s exact words.
66. Don’t put much stock in a sweeping, last-minute, catch-all apology…weigh the fruit of her actions over the next 2 weeks before you give a reply.
67. Don’t make molehills out of mountains-consider the mountain.
68. Make firm decisions when in a good frame of mind, then stay the course.
69. Remember what you know. Don’t pretend to not know it. Pull your head out of your ass on a daily basis.
70. You are a sentient being-be sentient. Think, brood and scheme!
71. Your surroundings are important. Maintain an environment conducive to your peace of mind.
72. Purchase as soon as possible: chair, lamp, bookshelf, rucksack, camping equipment.
73. Laziness will kill you. Going with the flow got you where you are; it will not get you where you want to go.
74. You are not an herbivore-bare your fangs if you need to! Trust your instincts.
75. Streamline everything-seek the pure thing.
76. Don’t ever be cornered into speaking before you’re ready.
77. Let go what you cannot affect– there is a time to stand and wait and a time to toil and burn.
78. Bear good fruit.
79. Be on task, ready for anything.
80. Your journey will change you. Count on it. Most will never understand.
81. There’s always the final option, mountain man: hermithood. Don’t discount a shack in the mountains as a viable option if all else fails.
82. One quest, two treasures: laser clarity and singular density.
83. Wounds heal.
84. When the fat dragon chews up your life, wallow through the regurgitation for chunks of magic.
85. The journal as a confidante, the journal as a rally point.
86. Long way you’ve come, longer yet to go…here you are.
87. Don’t ask, tell. Say: “This is how it’s going to be. This is what I’m going to do; this is what you’re going to do…I’m not asking you, I’m telling you…”
88. I will not be handled.
89. You will lose your ability to pretend, but you’ll be able to spot a faker a mile off.
90. Sometimes knowing you know nothing is the most important thing you can know. Now you can truly begin.
91. The moon will still be there when you arrive in your new life, and every night in between.
92. Move and keep moving. You can think and move at the same time.
93. Focus. Concentrate. Vibrate. Become. But never forget.
94. Getting out of debt: a measurable, tangible, practical goal. Little debt = much freedom.
95. Don’t return to the slave-life. “Let my people go.” :-)
96. Take a vacation after you’re out– go alone.
97. Abandonment by close friends is a rusty, painful blade. Get ready for it.
98. Watch Dead Man. “Do you have any tobacco?” - Nobody
99. Remember what it feels like to be home. Seek out that feeling; stop when you find it.
100. Books to read: Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield, The Quiet Game by Greg Isles, The Book of One by Dennis Waite, Perfect Brilliant Stillness by David Carse, Love’s Secret (poem) by William Blake, The Black Riders by Stephen Crane, The Jesus Mysteries by Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy.
101. Denny’s is open all night long.
102. Mark the anniversary of your Exodus. Drink a beer. Smoke a cigar. You’re alive!

Futureman

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